By - happigurl4
First of all, I'm sorry you had to experience pain like that. I feel you. I had to move across the planet to get away from the judgemental, controlling environment that was just the culture of my country. I'm not sure how it is for you but it sounds like you are in a smilar situation.
I found that really focusing on caring for myself and working hard to look like the queen I wanted to be really helped me shake off the need to win the approval of others and how much their opinion meant to me. My rationale was that if I looked good, I felt good. I grew more comfortable in my skin and getting closer to being that unbothered queen, as you put it. I guess you can say I used my looks as my shield.
I'm not 100% unbothered by judgment and negative comments and attitudes towards me but I am definitely a lot more uncaring and carefree now than I was before I moved. It just took time. Therapy also helped a lot, so perhaps if it is possible for you, seek a therapist to help you unpack all that troubles you and help you reach your goals.
I hope my two cents has been helpful.
Either way, you got this!